Friendship or Faith: Some Advice from Proverbs

By Daniel Zak

Solomon wrote Proverbs for many reasons including attaining wisdom, understanding words of insight, and for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life. One reason that directly pertains to our MLC student body is to give knowledge and discretion to the young. Solomon frequently refers to his recipient as ‘my son.’ Let us consider ourselves sons and daughters of Solomon that we may learn from the man upon whom God bestowed abundant wisdom.

In this book, we find many practical applications for young people who have not yet had much experience in life. An application we find is the topic of friendship. Now before we look at these proverbs on friendship, I must clarify what I mean by “friend” and “companion.” A friend is truly interested in your spiritual well-being and acts out of love for your benefit. This friend is most certainly a blessing from God. We can rejoice and mourn with this friend. We can trust this friend with everything. On the other hand, a companion cares very little for your spiritual well-being and is only interested in how this “friendship” can benefit him or her. This companion will have no trouble telling other people about certain things you confided to him or her.

With this in mind, let us now take a look at the first proverb for consideration. “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”1 The person with many companions can be the envy of the entire student body. Solomon says that this person may be ruined. What is the purpose of all those companions? Even though these companions are appealing to our sinful nature, how do they benefit us? Spiritually speaking, there is no benefit. Now we may ask, “Who is this friend who sticks closer than a brother?” Is it not God, our closest and perfect friend? Although all others may abandon us in times of need, God is always near and ready to care for us. He cares more deeply for us than we could ever imagine. He sticks closer than the closest sibling. He always acts in the interest of our spiritual benefit, though we may not see it immediately. God is the truest friend we will ever have.

Let us consider another proverb. “A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”2 Why are the righteous cautious when it comes to finding a friend? Solomon implores us to be cautious because we can be led astray very easily by ones claiming to be our friends. The righteous person chooses friends that keep him or her on the path to salvation. How is this done?

Let us proceed to the next proverb to answer this question. “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”3 Now you may ask, “How do wounds from a friend keep us on the path to salvation?” A friend is certainly a blessing from God. But these wounds of which Solomon speaks refer to rebuking your friend. A true Christian friendship develops from the bond we all have through Christ. The love of Christ shines forth in this friendship. We all are sinful. Does that mean that we are incapable of possessing such a friendship? By the grace of God, we do have this kind of friendship and are able to share this friendship with others. With no just cause for choosing us, God has chosen us to become his children. This makes us all brothers and sisters in Christ. We are offspring of God through Christ’s atoning blood. We are more than friends! We have deep love and concern for one another as spiritual brothers and sisters. Of course, we are personally closer to some brothers and sisters than to others, but this does not mean that we do not have a place in rebuking every fellow brother or sister. In fact, we do it out of love and concern.

Concerning those brothers and sisters with whom we maintain earthly friendships, sometimes it can actually be harder to rebuke them. We fear for our own sakes that that if we approach our friend, he or she may reject us and we will lose our friendship. Examine this motivation. Is it not selfishness? Now we must ask the question: What is more important, friendship or faith? The answer is a clear, but it is difficult. A true friendship will be revealed through rebuking. Friendship lasts only a lifetime, or not even that long; faith has effects that last for eternity.

Thank God that he has given us both faith and friendships. We do not have to choose. God bestows grace upon grace on us in all the friends that we do have. He keeps us on the path to salvation through these friends. We can enjoy these friendships and all the blessings that accompany them.

(Footnotes)

1 Proverbs 18:24

2 Proverbs 12:26

3 Proverbs 27:6

 

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